Getting older is a fact of life that we all face. Grace, beauty and wisdom often come with age. Unfortunately, frailty and vulnerability also accompany aging at times. Many expat families are often compelled to leave elderly parents or relatives when they are sent on mission. Such farewells can be particularly emotional. However, a bit of forethought, planning and open communication may ensure your peace of mind and your relatives’ well-being.

It is natural to feel sad, guilty and/or anxious about leaving older family members behind. You may be troubled by unsettling thoughts that your relatives will pass away before you are able to return. You may feel overwhelmed with guilt for not staying to protect and take care of them. You may even worry that your parents may be taken advantage of or abused while you are out of the country. Instead of worrying excessively, first take a deep breath! Then educate yourself about the dangers that your relatives may face in your absence. Lastly, find out what you can do to keep them safe.

Elder abuse might include any of the following:

Physical abuse (hitting, slapping, kicking, punching, withholding medication, overmedicating and inappropriate restraint);

Emotional abuse (yelling, berating, humiliating, gas-lighting and intimidating);

Financial abuse (fraudulently using funds and stealing checks, cash or possessions); and

Sexual abuse (any unwanted or non-consensual sexual contact or behavior).

Things that you can do to prevent elder abuse may include:

Create a regular communication schedule.

Skype or call once a week to check on their health, appearance and demeanor;

Listen to their concerns and fears. Don’t automatically attribute their agitation to dementia;

Establish a network of trusted family, friends and caretakers to regularly visit and keep you informed of all developments;

Find honest, patient and kind health care professionals to provide the best possible care for your elderly relatives.

Signs of elder abuse might include:

Suspicious bruises, broken bones or other injuries;

Apparent malnutrition;

Unkempt or unsanitary appearance;

Abrupt change in behavior (fearfulness, withdrawal, secretiveness);

Substantial bank withdrawals;

Sudden changes regarding their will or power of attorney;

Unexplained venereal diseases or infections.

For more information about elder abuse and ways to prevent it visit www.preventelderabuse.org. Knowing that the seniors in your life are happy, healthy and safe might not make those goodbyes any easier, but it might help you worry less.